The Four Horsemen: Defensiveness - The Gottman Institute
May 6, 2013 · John Gottman talks to Anderson Cooper about defensiveness in the first half of this short clip: Partners who avoid defensiveness instead take responsibility for their role in the issue and express an interest in their partner’s feelings.
D is for Defensiveness - The Gottman Institute
May 29, 2023 · Defensiveness, defined as any attempt to defend oneself from perceived attack, is the third of Dr. Gottman’s 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Over the years, I’ve developed a special kind of expertise in all of its manifestations: righteous indignation, counterattack and …
Defensiveness: An Exclusive Interview With Drs. John & Julie Gottman
Mar 4, 2024 · When asked about how partners should think about defensiveness and its antidote, taking responsibility, Dr. John Gottman says this: Down-regulating one’s own defensiveness is the “work” in Making Relationships Work.
3. Defensiveness The third horseman is defensiveness, and it is typically a response to criticism. We’ve all been defensive, and this horseman is nearly omnipresent when relationships are on the rocks. When we feel unjustly accused, we fish for excuses and play the innocent victim so that our partner will back off.
The Four Horsemen That Predict Divorce, Explained | mindbodygreen
Oct 20, 2021 · The Four Horsemen are four communication habits that increase the likelihood of divorce, according to research by psychologist and renowned marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph.D. Those four behaviors are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.
A Deeper Dive into the Four Horsemen: Defensiveness
Defensiveness is an attempt to defend oneself from a perceived attack. Many times, individuals become defensive when they are being criticized. While defensiveness feels like a protective way to respond, it creates blame around your partner(s) and escalates the conflict.
John Gottman's Four Horsemen: Defensiveness - Emotional …
Feb 28, 2017 · “Defensiveness is an automatic, emotional reaction to criticism which is hard to resist engaging in. Being defensive is a defense mechanism. Gottman argues that, “defensiveness is fundamentally an attempt to protect yourself and ward off a perceived attack.”
Defensiveness and Stonewalling: John Gottman - MINDING …
Apr 13, 2016 · In today’s article, the final one in a series about John Gottman‘s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (see the posts on Contempt and Criticism), marriage-killers defensiveness and stonewalling are featured.
The Gottman Four Horsemen - The Gottman Institute
Oct 15, 2024 · Defensiveness will only escalate the conflict if the critical spouse does not back down or apologize. This is because defensiveness is really a way of blaming your partner, and it won’t allow for healthy conflict management.
The Four Horsemen: Recognizing and Overcoming Unhealthy …
Nov 26, 2024 · Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship researcher, identified four particularly harmful communication styles he termed "The Four Horsemen": criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards replacing them with healthier, more productive communication habits. 1. Criticism
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